Monday, October 20, 2014

Mayhem in the pantry

Word spread around the office that it was the birthday of one of our colleagues at work and there would be cake and drinks in the pantry. 

We filed into the pantry in groups of twos and threes, wishing the Birthday Boy "happy birthday"!

On the table was a big cake. Somebody whispered that the Birthday Boy's wife surprised him with the cake. She had an insider who smuggled the cake into the office.

The cake looked quite lovely with white marzipan icing and blue flowery design around the edges. In the center there was a candy doll, the figure of a nerdy looking boy with mop hair, wearing spectacles, white shirt and blue knickers, sitting on a chair and holding an Apple iPad. In front the of Nerdy Candy Boy was the inscription in blue flowery letters "Happy Birthday Husband"! It was  quite a  warm and touching sight! 

As we were inspecting the Nerdy Candy Boy closely, I whispered to the Birthday Boy "your wife is obviously trying to convey something"! He answered "yeah, she complains that I am always with my iPad".

Someone said it was time to cut the cake as most of us had already assembled there. Usually the bakeries supply cute plastic cake-cutting knife along with the cake but we did not see any around. Someone found a butter knife. The Birthday Boy very slowly moved over to the table and very gently and neatly made a wedge in the cake. There was clapping all around. Some of us started to sing the "happy birthday" song but it faded away by the time it reached " you...". I did not understand why the guys were so embarrassed to sing the birthday song. There were shouts all around "take a bite, take a bite". The Birthday Boy nibbled a tiny piece of the cake. Some more claps went all around. 

Everything was going alright with smiles and excitement until, the Birthday Boy asked this Huge Guy, who was standing close to the table, to cut pieces of the cake and serve in the plates. That is when the mayhem started!

The Huge Guy wielded the butter knife in his hand as if he was getting ready to slaughter a goat! The knife hovered on the cake for a moment, then with his left hand he flicked the Nerdy Candy Boy which came off the cake tearing a bit of the icing. The heart of the Birthday Boy must have skipped a beat, with a "tut tut tut" he tried to put the Nerdy Candy Boy back in place and asked the Huge Guy to slice the cake along the edges.

The Huge Guy stuck the knife into the cake and slashed across, taking off most part of the marzipan icing. It reminded me of pictures after cyclone Gonu uprooted the roads of Oman, leaving layers of asphalt lying around crumpled like the icing of cake. The Huge Guy again tried to cut the cake but this time he went for the neck of the Nerdy Candy Boy. There was screams of "". Then he simply yanked the Nerdy Candy Boy off the cake and threw it aside. He followed it with crisscrossed slashes across the cake. And then he placed the knife down as if to say "mission accomplished"!

The whole scene looked so sad! Minutes ago there was this lovely cake, testimony of a wife's love and sentiments for her husband. Now it lay there butchered mercilessly. Yes, I agree at the end of it all the cake has to be cut, but there is a method of cutting a cake. What we witnessed in the last few minutes was nothing less than mayhem or "Hara-Kiri".

I was very glad the Birthday Boy's wife was not around to witness the mayhem! I am very certain, her heart would have bled!

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