How do you know!

Humour is everywhere, in that there is irony in just about anything a human does - Bill Nye, American Televison Presenter, Science Communicator, and Mechanical Engineer.

It was one of those visits to the hospital for my routine blood test to be done. While registering for the tests, the clerk asked me for the name of doctor who had referred for the tests. When I said "none", she gave me an incredulous look. I explained that it was my periodic checkup. She added "self" in the doctor's column. The pathologist took the blood sample and told me to come back two hours after having breakfast for the postprandial blood sample. 

I proceeded to the hospital canteen, had a sumptuous breakfast, which was not bad at all. To while away the couple of hours, I entered the outpatient area where I saw plenty of seats available in the large hall. Few people were already awaiting their turn to see the doctor. There were many doors with doctor's names all around the hall. 

I went around looking for newspapers or magazines to while away my time. There was plenty available for the taking. People don't read these things anymore. Actually in public places like hospitals and airports where there is a long wait, you don't really need anything else to occupy yourself. There is plenty of human drama on display if you care to watch. 

I found an empty row of seats and settled down,  making myself comfortable. Few moments later a couple sat in the seats in front of me. The man plonked himself with a thud. The woman sat down, took out her mobile phone and got busy swiping at the screen. The man clasped his hands behind his head, slid deeper into his seat, put one foot over the other and started shaking his foot vigorously. Couple of times the woman paused at what she was doing and gave that "if only I could burn you down" kind of look at him. The man continued with his preoccupation totally oblivious to the woman's glaring. 

After some time the man got up and walked towards one of the unmarked rooms, probably that is where the doctor's assistants were stationed. He came back and while sitting down he said "the doctor is late by couple of hours, it is going to be a long wait for us". The woman gave him an incredulous look and retorted "How do you know? Nonsense! He will be here promptly at 9". With that she went back to her smart phone, continuing with her screen swiping routine. 

How many times have we heard these questions, "How do you know? Who told you?". You are with your friend and someone you knew, especially someone in high position, comes along and you acknowledge each other with a greeting or with a brief chat, and pat comes the million dollar question "how do you know him? ".  How do I know? Just as you know things,  just as you know people! Why should it even surprise you! 

What makes people ask these questions? Perhaps some people either have a questioning attitude towards everything or they have an attitude of "how come you know it when I don't". Whatever the reason, it is quite annoying.

As I sat wondering about it, the man looked towards the woman and her screen swiping routine, looked to the left, then to the right, then got up and went towards the lift. Just then a group of men and women came in and occupied seats in one of the adjacent rows. Someone from the group went towards one of the rooms with a file and came back after sometime. The file passed around few hands, followed by some discussion. Someone took out couple of Tupperware that went around as they helped themselves to the eatable stuff.

I tried to figure out who could be the sick person from that group. They all looked quite gay, no I don't mean as "being gay", they looked gay, jolly, chatting in loud, excited voices. It is interesting how hospital visits have changed over the years. Invariably the patient is accompanied by a battery of well wishers, either family members or friends. 

Even outside the hospital, you can see groups of people perched on the grass lawn in circles. Soon plates pass around and the "toshadaans" (food carriers) are opened and food passes around. It is quite heartening that people are able to find it convenient to accompany a sick friend or family member to the hospital, especially in these times when everyone is so busy with their own personal things. More than a hospital visit, it looks as if they were out for a picnic. No wonder "Health Tourism" has become so popular over the years. 

The man came back holding a packet of chips. He sat down and with slow dramatic actions opened the packet and offered it the woman. She glanced at the packet, looked at the man, and without any response went back to her routine on her smartphone. The man went back to his earlier comfortable posture and started munching the chips. 

Time ticked by and suddenly the woman got animated as if she was woken up from a trance, saying "so much time has passed, hasn't the doctor come in yet?". The man answered coolly without even turning his head "may be it is not 9 o'clock yet". The woman gave him that "if only I could burn you down" kind of look again, got up and went towards the doctor's assistant's room. She came back and sat down muttering "the doctor is late by couple of hours". The man did not even flinch, as if he did not hear a word of what she said. The woman went back to her smart phone, continuing with her "Gorilla arm" routine. 

I couldn't help chuckling to myself at the whole hilarious scene I was witnessing. After a while, I felt my back hurting. The steel benches they have in the out patient area are not bad, but not that comfortable enough for sitting for a long time. You try to settle down comfortably, you keep slipping out of the seat. I got up and went to explore other areas of the hospital where perhaps they had more comfortable seating. 

The Nephrology department looked good, it had plenty of sofas which looked inviting. But the Executive Health Check Up area was more tempting, more grand with plants all around, and beckoning sofas, almost like a reception of a star hotel. So, I decided to wait there and while away the remaining part of my wait, watching some more live human drama.